August 10th, 2001


o/~ here comes the sun o/~

For the first time in a while, there might be hope.

it's fleeting, and I don't know for sure it's there, but there's hope that the depression might be breaking, somewhere in there. Hope that I might be able to concentrate on the problems that are going on.

I did things today that made people happy. That's a good thing. And most of all I did a couple of things that made me happy, which is what I need to do right now. it may be true that the wounded physician heals better, but the wounded physician needs to do triage and seperate out the people I can help from the people I can't.

I'm slowly coming to the conclusion that there are people I cannot help. And they might think this LJ unfair, but I have to do it. For one of them, I'm reminded of the story of the boy who cried wolf when there was no wolf so many times that when the wolf finally showed up, and he screamed, the town ignored him, and he was eaten.

So it is with any word. You scream things enough, and people finally stop listening. Y'obviously don't want us around. Sometimes, it's easier to blame the outside world for failings that are yours and yours alone. 'Cause when it comes down to it, that's all you can change, and it's admittedly hard to change yourself. And until you realize that, all the help in the world isn't gonna help you.

And that's all I have to say on the subject, except that when you finally do go, make sure the lights are off, and I hope you find what you're looking for on the other side. Goodbye.

Now that that's said, back to my thoughts. I think the depression's breaking somewhere in there, as I find more enthusiasm to do things I should have done long ago. Physician, heal thyself and all that jazz.

And hopefully tomorrow I can get that goldurn letter wrote and take steps towards working out the second big problem. That would be good.

Back to more Canticle for Leibowitz and sleep.
  • Current Music
    Beatles -- Here Comes the Sun