Last night was miserable. There have been very few times where I've actually cried myself to sleep, but last night was one of those nights. There have been very few nights lately where I had to fight with myself just to let the tears come, that it was alright to feel horrible and nasty, and that at that moment, I needed to keep myself in that bed and cry. Because I knew if I got out of that bed, I would have gone searching for my pocketknife, and that could have led to disasterous consequences.
I'm alright now. I've had some time to think, which helps. And I've had people who were willing to hear me out. And I had a puppydog on the bed, attempting to lick the tears off just as fast as they were coming in the first place. She's really a good dog, Britney is. She doesn't mind when I mess up her coat with tears, or just hold her and hug her.
I'm a bit disappointed in myself that I can type 1300 words no problem for a school assignment, but right now, I can't muster that in six days of trying to be creative. But, I guess I'll give it time. There's still Turkey Day weekend, not to mention the three day one we get this weekend. But first through W and Th classes. Have a quiz tomorrow in assembler, and a final Th in my other class. At least we're not gonna have another math test for four or five weeks yet.
Speaking of math tests, that was one of the good things that happened yesterday. We got math tests back, and I got a blue star on mine. That's what the teacher does for A's. And it means I'm teetering on the border between an A and a B in that class. I'm getting an A in assembler easy too...so much so that a couple of my friends approached me and asked if I'd help them on all their programming assignments for the rest of the year. So. Now to figure out what a binary sort is. :)
Hmmm, even in my most prolific month on this LJ thing, I only logged a bit over ten thousand words...I think I'm a bit too obsessed with wordcount. But the text statistics program in my text editor is amazing.
So...sleep is good. See you in the morning. Or something.