December 25th, 2001


Merry Christmas? Sha-yah, right.

Season's Greetings, everyone. I think that's non-holiday specific enough to work.

Feeling a bit under the weather tonight. Yesterday was a hard day. I couldn't get the internet to work, my mom and I had a bit of a fight over the room, and we (my sister and I) were snapped at repeatedly. Oh yeah, and we both got whacked tonight about something stupid. And sometimes people wonder why I think so highly of myself. *bitter laugh*.

And now I've woken up and the headache that sent me to bed in the first place is gone, but not the feelings. Because I found out, randomly from my dad, that he somehow screwed up the net connection. On purpose. Under orders from my mom.

And you want me to trust you? You want me to be able to tell you anything? You're the ones that are making it difficult for me to talk about it with the people who have LIVED up to the title. You're the ones that told me, growing up, that trust is a two way street. And then you go and pull this stunt...and you want me to TRUST you?

[ this point my mom wandered in the room and made me talk about what I was upset about...and first of all, she didn't order Dad to shut it off, Dad shut it off on his own initiative when Mom asked him if it was possible. And the fiasco this evening was more to get Jill to shut up than me...and now I feel like an even lousier prick.]

There's lots of reasons I feel stupid this year, and stuff. It's just 2k1 hauling back and booting me in the teeth one more time.

Merry fucking Christmas everybody. [Replace with appropriate sentiment for holiday of your choice.]
  • Current Music
    John Lennon -- Happy Xmas (War is Over)

words I want to believe in...

I Believe In Father Christmas
Emerson, Lake, and Palmer

They said there'll be snow at Christmas
They said there'll be peace on Earth
But instead it just kept on raining
A veil of tears for the Virgin's birth
I remember one Christmas morning
A winters light and a distant choir
And the peal of a bell and that Christmas Tree smell
And their eyes full of tinsel and fire

They sold me a dream of Christmas
They sold me a Silent Night
And they told me a fairy story
'Till I believed in the Israelite
And I believed in Father Christmas
And I looked at the sky with excited eyes
'Till I woke with a yawn in the first light of dawn
And I saw him and through his disguise

I wish you a hopeful Christmas
I wish you a brave New Year
All anguish pain and sadness
Leave your heart and let your road be clear
They said there'll be snow at Christmas
They said there'll be peace on Earth
Hallelujah Noel be it Heaven or Hell
The Christmas you get you deserve.
  • Current Music
    Emerson, Lake, and Palmer -- I Believe in Father Christmas