March 15th, 2002


yay for parents.

there are days I wonder how I make it through without exploding.

like today. A day off from school, I figure I could relax, enjoy myself, and then get busy with schoolwork tomorrow, right?

My mom's got other ideas. And I just want to be left alone, but now, sometime tonight, I gotta get the kitchen spotless because some moth somehow got in and decided to have kids in our cupboards. And I'm frustrated and tired and I want to be *left* *alone* for just *one* day without being told what to do or dealing with problems that aren't my own.


and if I tell her how much she's bothering me, I get the cancer survivor's guilt trip. "Be thankful I'm here to annoy you!" and if I blow up, it's a sure sign I need to be on an antidepressant. Aaaargh.

in some ways, I wish I didn't know I was Cal bound next fall, made it slightly tolerable when there was no light as opposed to this weak light...

trying desperately to hang on...
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