June 11th, 2002

logo

another late night musing...

I'm going to have to stop this, and try to pull myself onto NS time before I go, or I'm going to be really fscked over by jet lag when I get there.

There is no resolution. There is no hope, no daring, no nothing. I'm dealing with many tricky situations, and for them to work out best, it means steering a tricky course between rocks and rapids, edging close to both, but not hitting either. And that's difficult in the best of situations.

Because, in all honesty, I've got that feeling of a trapped, panicky animal. And trapped animals do strange things when they're startled. My sister got bit by a friendly dog once, she happened to be standing right in front of the dog when the Blue Angels flew over. Loud noise startled dog, which caused him to lunge forward and bite the thing in front of him. That was my sister. Scared animals do strange things. Trapped ones do even worse.

And I'm trapped. All the angles hit either rocks or rapids. And sometimes I'm not sure exactly where the rocks or the rapids are. I think I know up and down, but then again maybe...

it's hard to say anymore. So, for those of you who are happy to call me friends, watch for a bit more touchyness than usual. Please remind me that you're my friend, the reminders help. Especially in certain cases. And maybe with reassurance, I'll clear this part of the river and have a bit of smooth sailing.

Maybe.

PS: I'm working on trying to solidify my thoughts on being young and gifted, after seeing an advice post to parents of gifted children by the lovely and talented jenny_evergreen that kinda whacked my brain the way a fastball strikes a batter. Hopefully tomorrow I'll get that wrote. If my mom doesn't get to be too much of a you know what...
  • Current Music
    Elton John - Friends