June 19th, 2002

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"World Wars 'Always Planned as Trilogy'"

(from the September 2001 issue of the Heuristic Squelch, proof that Berkeley students do have a sense of humour.)

According to Internet fansites, the US is reportedly in talks with the UN trying to generate interest in a third installment of the poplular "World War" franchise. "World War I and World War II were by far and away the best and most popular wars of the twentieth century." said US Secretary of State Colin Powell, slated to direct. "We would be fools not to capitalize on that and give the public what they want."

Executive producer and US President George W. Bush claims the series was always planned as a trilogy, and that there is still a story left to tell. He cites a detailed outline and backstory sketched out by the Theodore Roosevelt administration. "Even after the first two World Wars, there were a lot of loose threads left dangling," said Bush. "I believe the time is right to tie up all those plot lines, and I think we can do it in a really dazzling, visually spectacular way that wasn't possible with the warmaking technology availiable in the past."

The project still faces some major hurdles, with critics questioning whether a further sequel is really necesary. "Sure, World War II was better than the first one," said UC Berkeley history professor Darren Punchausen. "But continuing the series is still a risk, especially when so much time has passed since the first two. Look what happened to the Godfather trilogy." Further complicating matters, Germany -- the villian of the first two wars -- had declined to reprise its role for the sequel, fearing typecasting.

World War III's supporters, however, remain unconcerned. In the wake of successful Asian-influenced hits such as Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon and Rush Hour 2, some speculate on the possibilityof a Chinese villian for the new war. China's spokesmen refused to comment. However, industry sources have hinted that they are close to a deal, and production is expected to begin soon.