March 31st, 2003

scared, trapped

Trying to keep things together...

There are things I want to noodle about. But I have a progress report due in one of my classes and I haven't even started. So please yell at me to come back to this list and talk out things?

  • My rambles about Stitching a Revolution, by Cleve Jones. (It's about how the AIDS Memorial Quilt was concieved, and it's a great story. It makes me want to rewrite my undergrad thesis, because I think I can make it so much *better*.)
  • -- there's some things here that strike a chord, and I want to explore it.
  • Musing on the depression beast.
  • Why I think I made a mistake in coming to SIMS.
  • my fucking roommate. I don't like people who deliberately lie to me, and she does.
  • things that come to mind.

anyway, I have to write a paper, and I have to develop a 'professional and analytic writing style' and I fucking HATE 208, and 206, and oddly enough the class I can't focus in is the one I like the best. And you try explaining depression to profs.

*sigh* I feel dead inside, and I'm not sure why.

  • Current Music
    Jars of Clay - Weighed Down
scared, trapped

i'm just not with it tonight.

it suddenly dawns on me, that with the exception of Luns (and he's usually looking for a dinner partner), nobody calls me. Okay, and Mom too, but that's different.

I'm not sure why this is. Well, I know Patrick doesn't really have the money at the moment or he would, but...I don't understand why nobody else calls me.

granted, not many folks have my phone number nor do I call many people, so I don't know why I'm upset about this.

[Oh yeah, if you have a phone number with the area code beginning with 530, I'm not there. And my folks prolly wouldn't appreciate fielding calls.]

It's just, I guess, a sign of the greater malaise. Depression is the mind killer.

now to make it through the night, eternal long second after eternal long second.

g'night LJ world.

[And now for the debate about whether to turn comments on or leave them off. I guess I'll leave them on. not that it matters much either way.]
  • Current Music
    Jars of Clay - Much Afraid