July 4th, 2003


girl interrupted

"Was I ever crazy? Maybe, or maybe life is. Crazy isn't being broken or swallowing a dark secret. It's you or me, amplified. If you ever told a lie and enjoyed it. If you've ever wished you could be a child forever. They were not perfect, but they were my friends."

Watched Girl, Interrupted tonight. It's a good movie (and it's a good book, too. I read it back in January of this year, and that's a link to the post. I liked the quote there as well.)

It's a movie I want to share with zibblsnrt, even though it's kinda a chick flick, just for the insight into me. I'm not borderline. I'm bipolar, but there's some similarities between the two diagnoses, and I can relate. And the movie deals with what is probably my greatest fear, which is being tossed into a looney bin. In that sense, I can identify with the main character, who was sorta tricked into going into the hospital, because that's my greatest fear. It's a loss of control, and that's probably why it's fearful.

I joked around tonight that I owned three movies about mental illness, four if you counted The Matrix. :) (For the curious, the three are this movie, A Beautiful Mind, and What About Bob?. Don't laugh, that last one got me through some hard times.)

But that's that. Good movie, I recommend it.
  • Current Mood
    thoughtful thoughtful
scared, trapped

minor sadness

Other thought.

LDRs are managable with the internet.

It's a lot harder when he's away from keyboard for a while, and there's no way to contact him. And I miss him horribly. Even when I'm trying to distract myself. I hope he's having fun, and he'll be back sooner rather than later since he's just on vacation, but...it's still hard. Especially when the person in question is my touchstone, and I'm in a place moodwise where I can use that touchstone, and it's odd, and a bit hard, to not find it there.

And I feel selfish because I want him here, even though he needs and could use a vacation. So I spiral myself worse because I feel this way, and then I get angry at myself over being selfish which tends to spiral me even further and I want and...well, you know the cycle.

(And the other place I could talk this out...grr, they closed the clinic where my therapist was today because somebody died, but did they give me a phone call? Hell no.) :P

Silly katster.
  • Current Music
    Phil Collins - You'll Be in My Heart (Phil Version)
poet, writing

sixty seconds, where's my watch?

Sixty seconds. One word. Free associate. Here's my contribution:


It was an ordinary neigborhood. It wasn't one you were expecting to find meth makers in.

The smells coming from my neighbor's house were unmistakable, as was that slightly stoned look on his wife's face. And the piles of bottles of cough syrup.

I probably should have reported him to the police, but he was a good guy and let me borrow his lawnmower. So it wasn't until the house exploded that anything was done legally.

Of course, drugs shouldn't be a crime, but...'tis the law.


http://oneword.invisibleland.tv. Thanks to rosefox for the first mentions, and femakita for reminding me of it in a response to rikhei this afternoon.

Okay, to bed with me.
  • Current Music
    The Chieftains - The Magdalene Laundries (with Joni Mitchell)
gravity, surreal

what's for dinner?

So...while my parents are camping, I've been making TV dinners for myself.

Easy. Stick dinner on cookie tray, put cookie tray in oven.

Except, this time, a moth got on the cookie tray too, so I have roast moth along with my TV dinner. :)
  • Current Music
    They Gave You Root