June 21st, 2004

scared, trapped

continuity lacking.

So yeah. Here I am again, in the midst of another string of melancholy. I haven't felt much like writing, mostly because things are mostly the same every day, I scribble and doodle and attempt to get things done, and the sun goes up and the sun goes down and...yeah.

In an old familiar place, these days, it seems. Struggling for continuity. It sounds funny, but there it is. Struggling for continuity. I know depression, I know the beast quite well, but...

I don't know how to express this any way that makes sense to anybody other than me, and I'm trying to fight the voices who tell me wrong...but yeah, it's hard. Especially when I'm fighting with myself, trying to fight and figure out whether I'm even right to be upset over what I'm upset about, and if I should be upset at others over that.

And yeah, I'm being cryptic and not very coherent, so I think I'll just put this up and try to get some sleep. Seems the best answer.

And tomorrow I'll kick out a small scene that's playing with me. I think, despite being in a mood where I think my writing is COMPLETE AND UTTER CRAP...err, sorry about the yelling, I'm in that sort of mood. Anyway, despite being in a mood where I think everything I write is teh suck, I need to keep at it. Need to keep writing, so I don't trip back down the path into the desert of the Dry Times. Yeah, that's about it.

So I'll stop depressin' y'all and hit the post button.
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