--Peter de Jager, www.truthpicks.com
It's a thought that comes from alt.callahans tonight, and I'm thinking of it for one simple reason. My mom has dysthymia. A constant lowlevel depression. Basically, it's the "all depression all the time" channel. She's probably had it for years.
So I'm coming to the terms that my messed up in the headness comes not from emotional abuse, or at least, not on purpose, and I think abuse is done on purpose, and not accidentally. It was neither her nor my fault, it's just an accident of fucked up brain chemistry. My parents want the best for me, but they're human, and so they're falliable.
And this makes me taste the salt on my cheeks, and the tears fall like rain. I don't know why this makes me grieve, but it does.
And that's all I have to say about this right now.