A. Two. One to mix the martinis and one to call the electrician.
Q. How many UCSC students does it take to change a lightbulb?
A. Eleven. One to change the lightbulb and ten to share the experience
Q. How many UC Davis students does it take to change a lightbulb?
A. None, Davis doesn't have electricity.
Q. How many UCSF students does it take to change a lightbulb?
A. Two. One to change the lightbulb and one to keel over from the pressure.
Q. How many UCSB students does it take to change a lightbulb?
A. Only one, but he gets six credits for it.
Q. How many Cal students does it take to change a lightbulb?
A. Seventy-eight. One to change the lightbulb, fifty to protest the lightbulb's right not to change and of the fascist oppressors who made it change, twenty-five to organize a counter-protest, and two to drop acid and stare at all the pretty colors.
Q. How many UCI students does it take to change a lightbulb?
A. None, Irvine looks better in the dark. (Ditto Riverside!)
Q. How many UCLA students does it take to change a lightbulb?
A. One, but she just holds the bulb and the world moves around her.
(and my own addition)
Q. How many UC Merced students does it take to change a lightbulb?
A. Due to the budget crisis, no lightbulbs have been allocated.
[Edit: A few more!
How many UC Riverside students does it take to change a light bulb?
Riverside looks better in the dark.
How many UC Irvine students does it take to change a light bulb?
Irvine looks even better than Riverside in the dark.
(to be honest, I like this sequence slightly better than the "(ditto riverside)" bit.
Q: How many UC Irvine students does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: One to hire the undocumented worker mowing the lawn to do it for them. ]